The Cocktagon was one of my first April Fools' toys, and I've made some tweaks to the design to bring it up to my current standards. Back after 8 years (i assume, because it's funnier), the Cocktagon has the following features:
 
Sides: 8
Inches: 8
Lucky Number: 8
INT: 8
Price: 88.88
Shore Durometer: 0050.
Look, we can't win 'em all.

Enjoy big low poly dildo.