You deserve a safe toy at a reasonable price.
Don’t just accept the gap between affordable and safe.
NoFrillDos maintain quality standards while saving on production costs.
Unlike the rest of the Funkit toy lineup, NoFrillDos are not modular. With no corner left uncut that doesn't compromise pleasure or safety, NoFrillDos are the cup ramen of sex toys.
If you can afford fancier, buy fancier, but if not, I think you should be able to get a safe dildo without worrying about rent.
Available in eight tangible shapes, three adequate size categories, & four visible colors, there's a NoFrillDo that'll be just fine for you. If you're strapped for cash but still want a few bells and whistles*, you can add Frills with a No?FrillDo, which have suction cup and bullet vibe holder options.
*Literal bells not available. Whistles available here.
Frills?
NoFrillDos have no frills. This means no modular connection to other Funkit toys, and no suction cup. That’s extra. Here you go.
It's the NoFrillDos you know and love, but something is wrong. A hint of the bourgeoise. A terrible, terrible secret. Just a touch of... utility. The fain jingle of a bell, the distant fweet of a whistle. Perhaps even... another dildo.
There are three frill options:
The suction cup allows you to stick a NoFrillDo with it to another NoFrillDo with one, or indeed, to any of my modular toys, or even, dare I say it? A flat surface, like a table, window, or shower tile.
The Bullet Vibe Slot allows you to use a bullet vibe, but wait, there's more! It's also shaped for use as a grip, pointing the dildo inwards OR outwards, for filling your own holes or those of another, or having a dildo swordfight.
The Double allows you to pick another NoFrillDo in your cart and get this one permanently fused to it. Just be sure to note which one if there's more than two. It is recommended that you only go up or down one size, as if you stick a large and a small together someone's gonna get the short end of the stick, momentum and grip-wise.
Series 1:
R: Helical design, fun for rotation and penetration. 6.75" insertable length, 1.25" diameter.
G: A g-spot/p-spot toy. 6.75" insertable length, 1.25" diameter.
B: A slightly shorter and thicker model with two stimulating bumps on one side. 5.75" insertable length, 1.33" diameter.
Series 2:
X: Ribbed, 7" insertable 1.9" thick, or 18.1x4.85 cm.
L: Longer, curved, 8.25" long and 1.6" diameter, widening to 1.75" at the base, or 20x4.1 cm to 4.6 cm.
The Series 2 NoFrillDos are not recommended for anal use due to their narrow base, however the Dock attachment works well to solve this.
Series 3:
T: Grooved, textured cylinder. 5.2“ insertable, 1.05” in diameter.
P: Swooping curve with added material on top to keep its shape. 5.3" insertable, 1" dia.
W: Zigzagged wobble. Makes a great noise coming out of the mold, which is usually a good sign. 4.8" insertable, 1.05" diameter.
Colors:
C: Cyan.
M: Magenta.
Y: Yellow.
K: blacK. Or Koal, whatever helps print designers sleep at night.
Firmness: Shore 20A. Firm enough to hit the spots, but still squeezable.
“I think you should be able to buy a safe, non-toxic silicone sex toy without worrying about rent.”
— Kenton, Funkit Toys
NoFrillDo is the "Cup Ramen with Veggies and an Egg" of dildos. If you can afford a fancier dildo, support the creation of fancier dildos. It's worth it. If not, though? I think you should be able to buy a safe, non-toxic silicone sex toy without worrying about rent.
What are the best features of a NoFrillDo?
NoFrillDos don't come with features. Features are expensive. Instead, they come with these:
Every NoFrillDo has a shape causing them to occupy a set amount of space. This means they can be put in a hole, and the flared base means your doctor doesn't have to know.
A NoFrillDo is guaranteed not to come with any guarantees. NoFrillDo promises nothing.
NoFrillDos come in colors, making them visible to the human eye. Several of these colors are not pink.
NoFrillDos can be cleaned with soap and water. No need for "toy cleaners". Just soap.
NoFrillDos are cheap, so you can spend the money you saved on a nice, water-based lube of your choice.
A NoFrillDo does not look like a penis. NoFrillDos don't look like much at all, really.
NoFrillDos don't come with instructions. NoFrillDo trusts your ingenuity. Also, printing things is expensive.
NoFrillDo comes in 3 shapes (left to right above) and 4 colors:
Shapes:
R: Helical design, fun texture for rotation and penetration. 6.75" insertable length, 1.25" thick.
G: Slight curve for gentle G-spot/prostate stimulation. 6.75" insertable length, 1.25" thick.
B: Shorter and thicker with two stimulating bumps on one side, great for putting pressure where you want it. 5.75" insertable length, 1.33" thick.
Colors:
C: Cyan.
M:Magenta.
Y: Yellow.
K: black. Or Koal. whatever helps designers sleep at night.
You can choose to let me select the shape or color for any toy for a slight discount.
Firmness: Shore 20A, similar to medium steak. If you press your thumb to your middle finger and squeeze the meaty thumb muscle with your other hand, it's about like that. Firm enough to hit the spots, but still squeezable.
Illustration by Pseudonym Jones.
The NoFrillDos have no frills. This means no modular connection to other Funkit toys, and no suction cup.