Frequently Asked Questions

Please read the FAQ before asking a question. If your question is answered on this page, I will be grumpy and might not answer.

  • Toys are shipped in plain or USPS branded cardboard boxes. Sometimes larger orders have labels of other, entirely mundane companies because I reuse as much packaging as I can. If you're concerned about housemates opening your mail, you can have it held at the post office with priority mail, just leave a note at checkout.

    And please reuse or recycle the boxes!

  • In the US, the flat rate is $7 or $13 depending on service. $22-$44 to Canada by weight, and $22-$60 everywhere else. Sometimes I can wiggle a cheaper shipping fee and refund you the difference, but not often. For international shipments, there may be additional import fees, VAT or.... tariffs. Eugh.

    US shipping is free for orders over $150.

  • It depends on whether I have the item in stock. Clear customs typically take between two weeks and a month, others two to three weeks. Ready-made things typically ship within a week, typically on Mondays or Wednesdays. Travel time takes 3-5 days within the US.

    If you haven’t gotten your tracking number, don’t panic!

  • If something manages to slip through the rigorous inspection process here and your toy has a surface bubble or inclusion in it not described on the product listing, contact me and we'll work something out.

  • Now that I make violet, neon green, orange, and magenta pigments, the available colors are almost all of them.

    Particularly bright cyan hues aren't possible due to a gap in non-toxic pigments that exist. I also don’t offer thermal color change and glow-in-the-dark pigments due to my own concerns about their safety.

    I only use mica pigments in limited edition toys to minimize the number of pigments I have to keep stocked.

  • I use 13 primary pigments, many of which I make myself because they are not available on the market.

    To get exactly the color you want, we’ll go back and forth in email, and I’ll show you the finished pigment for approval before moving on. I also remake the toy if you're not completely satisfied with how the color or swirl turned out.

    The extra charge is added to custom toys because my time and work is worth it.

  • Six is, at the moment, the limit.

  • No! Glitter is too large and sharp, and can wiggle its way out of a toy. I do a lot of shimmery mica pigment toys though!

    Allow me to direct your attention to the well-appointed Proper Attire.

  • All of Funkit's main line of toys are equipped with a powerful suction cup, and they can be stuck together to make double ended toys or otherwise interact with each other. Also, there's the Plug-of-War and the No?FrillDo

  • I am currently entertaining some custom offers. If you can budget $400-$600 for the project and have a clear idea, send me an email using the contact form.

  • Sizes are listed on each toy in its store listing. The can in the images is your typical 12-ouncer, for scale.

    Suction cup bases are all 2 1/8 inch diameter.

  • Silicone:

    • Wash with fragrance-free soap and water (silicone can absorb fragrances: smell your spatulas), or in the dishwasher with a non-abrasive detergent. Sanitize by boiling.

    • Store in plastic, as cloth cases can dull the glossy surface over time. Do not store in direct sunlight: the light resistance of pigments varies, and some colors can fade with sun exposure.

    Acrylic:

    • Wash with fragrance-free soap or put them in the dishwasher with non-abrasive detergent. Do not boil because it can make the acrylic cloudy and dull or even melt it.

    • Store in cloth or plastic.

    Glass:

    • Wash with soap and water. Sanitize with bleach, but do not boil.

    Wood:

    • Be kind to the wooden paddles. Do not insert.

  • I get this a lot and the answer is not really, but not for the reasons you were told to think. While silicone lube does not immediately damage silicone toys, it's not ideal. The amount on a condom won't have much immediate effect, but solid silicone (polydimethylsiloxane) can absorb silicone lube (dimethicone, aka dimethylsiloxane) by osmosis. This can make it swell, and the dimethicone can also dissolve additives in the silicone that give it its structure and strength, and possibly mess with any coatings applied on more industrially-made toys. So if, say, you use it on a buttplug and wear it around, by the time you go to take it out it might be very uncomfortable. Needless to say, this is not a cost effective way of making toys bigger.

    In short, water-based is best, but a little silicone lube from a lubricated condom on a shared toy helps you a lot more than it harms the toy, and I'd advise using it over not in such situations.

  • Yes! I prefer education-based or queer-focused shops and events. Reach out via email or the contact form for more information.

  • Stop asking me about my penis. It's rude.

  • Once upon a time, I met someone who was into things I didn't have the tools for. Said tools would have taken a week to arrive, so I made them. Then I made more. Then I kept going for a year, opened an Etsy store called BeatCleaverPaddles, started working with silicone, and eventually Funkit Toys happened.

    This story is available in more complete form on every podcast I've ever been on and live at every party I've attended since I started.

  • At the moment, Funkit Toys is pretty broke. Once it's more stable, I'll be doing more of this again. However, this notice has been here a long-ass time and is unlikely to change anytime soon.

  • It is the official stance of Funkit Toys (which is to say, just me) that advertising is dead, which conveniently fits the company budget of mothescapingwallet dot gif

  • Of course! But fair warning, they’re all just me in different hats.

    Except the website. Gray would love to hear from you.

Still wondering?

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